Girlfriendklok

"Girlfriendklok" is the eighteenth episode of Metalocalypse. It aired on December 3, 2006, on Adult Swim.

Synopsis
Nathan gets a celebrity girlfriend, but he never seems happy with her and she treats him badly. His band doesn't interfere until they are told they cannot host a pornography award show because of her.

Plot
The episode begins with Dethklok playing Castratikron, showing Nathan as a the main sacrifice of the enormous demon. As the song ends, Dethklok gets a huge standing ovation and several women in the front attempt to get Nathan's attention by taking off their shirts and offering to have sex with him both individually and as a group. Nathan declines the offer rather mournfully, saying that he has a girlfriend now and points to Rebecca.

Nate-Becca
After the show, Dethklok gathers backstage to get painted (literally) by semi-nude women, but Nathan stands out by not only being fully clothed but in a rather unmetal outfit. Pickles asks Nathan if he wants to join in and Nathan says unconvincingly that he's cool while Rebecca complains that she wants to leave. Toki takes Nathan aside and scolds him for bringing his girlfriend backstage, Nathan replies that Rebecca knows how to find it by herself. The band comments that Rebecca is keeping a close eye on her boyfriend and Rebecca keeps saying that they have to leave, as she and Nathan have plans with her parents. Their plans turn out to be Nathan moving their furniture in the Nightrods' home, which has a rather Escher-esque architecture with lots of stairs.

Dethklok Minute reveals that Nathan and Rebecca have a famous relationship, Nathan being a world-famous musician and Rebecca a celebrity personality and fans have given them names like Natebecca and Rebasplosion. Several female fans have committed suicide over this relationship and the media is already talking about how a child of the two would look like.

Tearing the lovers apart
The Tribunal is also talking about Nathan's relationship with a celebrity, revealing that Rebecca is a world-class tennis player-turned-sitcom actress/model and her father is a decorated dignitary who is very influential in the political world. Celebrity relationship expert Horace Marmingblat Wimplestein, Jr. states that the joining of two monumental egos would create a sociological supernova that might overshadow worldly events and shift the perspective from what is important to what is not; making the American public even more malleable, while making the couple much more powerful. Since the Tribunal does not want Dethklok to have more power than they already have, Marmingblat suggests "taking advantage of the male sex drive", since Nathan's status allows him to bed nearly any woman he meets. He proposes inviting Dethklok to the United States Pornography Awards as a way to tempt Nathan and, thus, end his relationship. The Tribunal agrees with this plan. Crozier says that the plan would go better, if he was present, Senator Stamptington says he should go as well, followed by Cardinal Ravenwood and an unnamed Tribunal member. Salacia forbids them from attending.

United States Pornography Awards
Charles announces that Dethklok has been cordially invited to host the United States Pornography Awards, but he suggests that the band skip it, since it's not a distinguished event. Dehtklok protests with Pickles even accusing Charles of being a eunuch. Charles attempts to reason with the band as to why this is a bad idea since the ceremony will not be paying for Dethklok's appearance. They would be losing money by attending, but Murderface and Skwisgaar argue that Charles must "listen to his heart". They attempt to get Nathan's attention to hear his opinion, but he's on his Dethphone with Rebecca, apologizing for upsetting her, though he doesn't understand how he did. A furious Rebecca can be heard screaming about his promise to accompany her to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Nathan tries to appease her, saying he doesn't know his schedule. She ends the call saying that she loves him rather tearfully and Nathan mumbles that he loves her back. After this public exchange, Nathan realizes the band is staring at him and aggressively asks, "You dicks got a problem?" Though visibly upset, they decline. Charles asks him if he wants to go to the pornography awards, seeing as his girlfriend might be upset with it and Nathan answers that he can do whatever he wants and he's going. His phone rings that second, with Rebecca still harping about going to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Skwisgaar comments that Nathan has been acting odd lately.

Two days later, Nathan has not shown up to any band rehearsals and his bandmates are getting worried. Skwisgaar says that Rebecca might not let Nathan attend and Murderface comments that women steal the very essence of men. Skwisgaar and Toki begin to talk about how their hate for Rebecca is only rivalled by their physical attraction to her; that it's odd how men are so driven by their desires. A dejected Nathan enters and Murderface asks if Rebecca broke up with him. When he says no, the whole band is disappointed. He has further bad news: she won't let him attend the pornography awards. Pickles realizes that Nathan's absence means the band's absence. He apologizes to the band and voices his frustration, growing, "You don't understand! She won't let me!" Murderface replies, "Your relationship is messing with our lives!"

Interrogating Nathan
Later that night, the band gathers in Nathan's room and Toki knocks him out with a baseball bat. A bound Nathan wakes up when someone throws a bucketful of water at him. He's been tied to a chair. Pickles slaps him and throws a lit cigarette at his face, pointing out the difficulty of maintaining one's defenses, while one is restrained. Toki punches him and Murderface menacingly sharpens a cleaver, ordering Toki to taser Nathan. Toki tasers the band's frontman, despite Nathan's protests. He only relents when Pickles says so. Skwisgaar begins to scold Nathan, but he cannot find the words, so he blurts out, "Why do you like that lady?"

Nathan confesses that he does not like Rebecca at all. When Murderface asks him why they're together at all, Nathan replies that he doesn't know, which earns him another taser from Toki and prompts him to say "It's the most brutal thing ever! It's not like regular hate. It's so much more black! If she were a street gang, I'd f*cking go to war with her with bottles and chains! But this is different, there's nothing I can do." Pickles beats him, scolding him for his attitude. Nathan considers breaking up with her, but he's scared that she won't let him. He relents when Toki cocks a crossbow in a threatening manner and begins crying and apologizing to his friends. Murderface cuts his ropes and he gets up to hug Pickles.

A bad fall
Nathan goes to break up with Rebecca (wearing his regular clothes in front of her for the first time). He tries to introduce the topic when she drops one of her earrings and interrupts him, demanding him to "hold on for one f*cking second, Tonto". As she bends down to retrieve it, her heel breaks and she falls down the long flight of stairs in her parents' home. Nathan is visibly shocked by how hurt she is. She begins to get up, saying "I'm okay", but she slips and falls down two more flights. Still conscious, she tries to move again, only to fall down four more flights of stairs (and yet she's still not at the bottom).

Her fall injures her enough to send her into a coma, leaving her unable to move or talk, but still able to hear. Nathan talks to her heart-to-heart for the first time and calls her "the ultimate girlfriend" because she's in a coma now. He requests permission to go to the United States Pornography Awards. Since she's unable to voice any complaints, Dethklok happily hosts the event.

Songs featured in this episode

 * Castratikron

Guest voices
Laura Silverman

Trivia

 * The winner for the best use of a dildo is "Dildo Team Task Force C (Z?)".
 * The way Nathan is offered as a sacrifice to Castratikron is reminiscent of Ann Darrow in King Kong.
 * The fans that offer to have sex with Nathan are voiced by a man.
 * Bed, Bath and Beyond is a real chain of houseware stores
 * This is the second time someone calls Nathan "Tonto", the Native American sidekick of the Lone Ranger. This is a reference to how Nathan appears to be partially Native American. In Dethcarraldo, it's revealed that he's 1/4 Yannemango.
 * Some of the women who wanted to have sex with Nathan are also porn stars getting awards at the end of the episode.